


Paralyzed | Bokuto Koutarou x Akaashi Keiji

by Clovelyliz



Series: Haikyuu x Taylor Swift Week 2020 ✯ [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, HQSwiftWeek2020, Haikyuu!! x Taylor Swift Week 2020, M/M, for now we weep, i swear to write something happy next time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26478808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clovelyliz/pseuds/Clovelyliz
Summary: He knew all too well that he was paralyzed by the heartache and he could only dream of going back to normal.ー Written for Haikyuu!! x Taylor Swift Week 2020
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Haikyuu x Taylor Swift Week 2020 ✯ [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1921927
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12
Collections: Haikyuu x Taylor Swift Week 2020





	Paralyzed | Bokuto Koutarou x Akaashi Keiji

**Author's Note:**

> Day 3 ー Red  
> ・this work is inspired by all too well.

“Did you hear?” Yamato asked as Keiji raised an eyebrow. “The reason by Koutarou ain’t attending this lovely gathering is because he’s with his fiancee.” Yamato proceeded to explain, earning him a small whack in the head from Yukie who looked at Keiji with a concerned expression. 

“Don’t mind it, Keiji. He’ll come around.” Yukie beamed as Keiji raised his glass of beer in agreement. 

Though Keiji, more than anyone, knew that Koutarou would  _ never  _ come around. It’s been years and until now, Keiji and Koutarou never came into terms with each other - it was as if they knew all too well that nothing will come out of it. 

Yukie glanced at Keiji before shooting a glare at Yamato. “Apologize to him,” Yukie whispered as the male rubbed the back of his neck before transferring to a seat next to Keiji. 

“I’m sorry, Akaashi. I didn’t mean it to sound that way,” Yamato mumbled, “it’s just that I miss seeing him too and a Fukurodani reunion is never the same without him.” He added as Keiji shook his head. 

“I know,” Keiji couldn’t shake off the dread that he felt. Four years have passed since they broke-up and while Koutarou had moved on significantly, Keiji still couldn’t find the heart to do the same. 

The rest of the night continued without a hitch and while Keiji still felt down in the dumps, he didn’t let that get to him. He wanted to enjoy it with his friends and he just wanted to forget the lingering feeling of heartbreak. 

Or at least, he tries to.

The party was long done and Keiji found himself on his couch, scrolling through his social media when a post caught his eye. It was a post from Koutarou. 

It was of the spiky-haired male and his fiancee, they were in Osaka celebrating their engagement. The smile on Koutarou’s face was something that Keiji hasn’t seen in a while and his heart ached at the sight. 

For the longest time, he always believed that Koutarou’s smile was only meant for moments with him but he now had to accept that he wasn’t the one making him happy anymore - he had to accept that he  **had** to move on from Koutarou. 

**But he couldn’t bring himself to do it.**

His relationship with Koutarou was, to put simply, pure bliss. They had their ups and downs but what couple doesn’t? It was normal and for the longest time, Keiji always believed that being with Koutarou was his definition of  **normal** . 

With a deep breath, Keiji turned-off his phone and pulled his knees towards his chest. He tried to think of a thousand things to get Koutarou off of his mind but the more that he tried to push them away, the more memories just kept coming back.

A particular memory always came to mind at moments like this. It was that one autumn when he and Koutarou went to Hokkaido to see the sights. The north was particularly beautiful when autumn rolled in and they went there to see just how beautiful it was. 

They weren't disappointed. 

The memory, until now, always made Keiji smile - no matter how much it hurt. Just remembering how happy they were made his heart clench.

Keiji wasn’t like this. 

He didn’t want to be like this. 

**But why did this have to happen?**

He remembered their break-up so vividly like it was just yesterday. They had a meal at their favorite restaurant, they walked by the bay, and Keiji expected the date to end with them heading home together but what shocked him was when Koutarou revealed that he had already packed all of his stuff. 

Keiji remembered sobbing in Koutarou’s car, asking him to stay and begging him to  _ stop joking _ . But Keiji knew more than anything that when Koutarou was serious - he was  **serious** . When he realized that Koutarou had made up his mind - it felt like his whole world stopped and he was forever paralyzed. 

Keiji didn’t notice that he was crying now with all the memories that keep on flooding back to him. How he wished that he could just remember all their good memories but whenever he did, it got overshadowed by scenes of their break-up. 

He thought that he had moved on but it turns out when he found out that Koutarou got engaged - he wasn’t over it. The moment that he saw Koutarou’s relationship status change on one of their social media channels, Keiji flipped the switch. 

For a while, he was unreachable and it felt like the world didn’t make sense anymore. Keiji used to judge girls in films who can’t seem to move on from their exes but he quickly realized that what they were feeling was valid. He thought that he’d move on after a couple of months but Koutarou beat him to it - maybe it was for this reason that Keiji found it harder to move on. 

Keiji wiped the tears from his face and stood up from the couch, he was tired. Not just from the party, but also from all the emotions that he’s been keeping in. 

When he arrived in his room, Keiji fell on his bed as he looked at the ceiling. He picked up his phone again to see if anything would take his mind off of things but all he saw when he opened his social media account were more photos of Koutarou and his fiancee. 

What struck him the most was the scarf that Koutarou was wearing. Just when he thought that he was on the way to being emotionally stable for the night, he sees that Koutarou is wearing  _ his  _ scarf. They had a matching pair but the former lost his own during a trip so Keiji gave Koutarou his scarf to replace it. 

He felt a sharp pang in his chest when he saw that. He always thought that Koutarou had thrown it away but he was wrong. It made his heartache all the more but it wasn’t like he could do anything about it - Koutarou has moved on. 

Keiji put his phone down and laughed. He often wondered when he’d go back to normal - back to his former self. But he knew all too well that he was paralyzed by the heartache and he could only dream of going back to normal. 


End file.
